i had to

i couldnt allow myself to be with him any longer. i think that i needed time to realize that it wasnt right. my heart knew that he was not the one but my brain over looked his bad qualities and thought it was ok to be with him. 

im so sad but im so happy. 

i can breathe 


Exclusive clip: Tina Belcher takes the ice bucket challenge.

It took her a second to work up the courage, but she got there!

cheethor @cheethor
Dear 19year old Pang

October of 2009 I wrote a note on my Facebook about 25 random goals I have before I turn 30
I was 19 turning 20 when I wrote this note and 6 years has passed and if I could tell my 19yr old self how amazing her mind is I would.
I’ve come a long way and achieved many of my goals. I’m really pumped my sister Chee found this note.
I’m going to reply to all my goals and laugh at my 19yr old self a little bit.

1. purchase 300 real cds no digital music (im at 60! haha after 60 of em were stolen…)
~~ I’ve probably stopped at 120 but I still have 4yrs until I get to 300.

2. do make up and hair for haute couture runway shows or photo shoots
~~maybe not haute couture but I’ve done a couple runway shows. I’ve done plenty of photo shoots. I’m very blessed and lucky that I have had opportunities to achieved my goals. Now if I can make a shit ton of money doing what I do…that’ll be a different story.

3. i want to be that skinny tall bitch that everyone hates
~~well hmm I’m still tall. Dear 19yr old you got fat at 22 then got smaller at 25 does that count?

4. make my parents proud and repay them for the amounts of money i have taken from them after the age of 18…suprisingly i have an exact count in my head
~~your parents love you and they never want your money. They want your happiness and love.

5. show the world or people that someone that scored a 17 on her ACT can achieve great things in life
~~ohhhhh man the world is more than a grade or act score. That shit means nothing!!!

6. buy a home
~~hmmm still on my mind but not soon

7. start a family
~~EWWWW no wayyyyyyyy not until after 30

8. move to NYC and experience the high life
~~moving to NYC then maybe come back and start a family maybe.

9. move out of my house by spring 2010 and hopefully never return
~~bahaha hahahahahahahaha what a joke. Your ass was so broke and you still can’t manage your money too well.

10. live a good life with positive people with me
~~always and still living this life

11. continue to still have my sense of humor which is… awesomely funny
~~I’m not as funny as I think. Only emily and Libby think I’m funny

12. meet lady gaga, karen o, paris hilton, kid cudi, lil wayne
~~omg what a waste of a goal

13. work at American Apparel
~~dude you ain’t skinny enough

14. design clothes and make em
~~ehhhh I don’t want to do that any more

15. be an MC and spit words you thought couldnt come out of me
~~omg you dumbbbb

16. grow my hair out to touch my waist…remember my slim waist
~~girl you bald. Calm down

17. modeling sounds like a good thing to add to my list
~~model eating an ice cream come ;)

18. learn to not be so attached to my phone
~~iPhone happened and this goal didn’t happen

19. do a triathalon
~~I can’t swimming

20. run marathons all over the country
~~YESSSSS I did achieve this goal !

21. volunteer more and affect little kiddies that need lovin
~~I need more this in my life

22. create a huge impact on the world
~~ some day pang some day

23. see my nephys and neicies grow up
~~awww they’re getting so big and beautiful!

24. sing a song that will bring tears to your eyes
~~cuz your voice is so bad. Haha no singing here

25. learn how to graffiti
~~I can mimic it but graffiti isn’t my forte

13 yr old.

Young man name Austin. The first time I cut his hair at my work place he was super shy but I got him to talk to me. Austin only wanted me to cut his hair because only I knew ‘how to’ cut his hair. His father, Larry, is probably the funniest man ever. He talks so much a rock could be his friend. I’ve known them over 6months now and really some of the clients are like family because I see them so often and they love coming in to see us.

Today I found out that Austin had a stroke about 6weeks ago. yes a stroke, at 13! He is not paralyzed but his reading level is at 2nd grade level, he has no peripheral vision, and physical therapy and medication is needed for who knows how long.
He came in about three weeks ago and got a haircut by my manager and was asking about me. Then today when his grandma came in she gave us information about his benefit coming up and she requested that I attend this benefit because Austin wants to see me :’( apparently he talks about us girls a lot and he frequently asks about me… When I heard about this it really broke my heart.

How does this little man, who is so healthy and active, have a stroke? I just want to squeeze this little man because no one his age and health deserves this.

I just don’t understand
I don’t understand my homework
My living situation
My priorities
And why he makes me feel so worthless


Why do I even feel like this